The Rubber Tyre Idea

About a week ago we issued a call to arms on the Phoenix site asking the Phoenix fans to submit their ideas to the Phoenix Office, and they've been coming in thick and fast. Some have been thick, some have been fast. (b'dum!)

The main address for the submissions is the main Phoenix Office e-mail address, but a few fans have chosen to send their ideas straight to me instead through the Fan Liaison e-mail address. So I've been privy to a fair range of suggestions coming into my inbox, but by far the most intriguing one I've received up to this point was this one from a chap named Steve Hester, who was keen to give his idea as it fitted in nicely with the Phoenix Interval Game Theme of "having no regard for life or limb":

"Donut Bowling!
For this you need a big rubber inner tube and some over sized skittles. Couples come up with one sat in the tube and the other pushing them. I think five skittles would be enough. The game is won by the couple who knocks over the most pins."

After clarifying with Steve that he means the tyre to be flat rather than on end (in a Catherine Wheel styleee), I've suggested that maybe we use a bungee rope for propulsion rather than having contestants give themselves a hernia trying to push it. Steve is now going to see if such a rope would fit into his plans, so I'm looking forward to seeing his finalised proposal. Methinks Phoenix may well get a mention in the next round of Darwin Awards at this rate.


Elsewhere in the suggestions box, there's a lot of ideas coming in for pieces of music to play in the stoppages. The general theme of the music suggestions is hard rock, ranging from Aerosmith to ZZ Top via Slayer and Bryan Adams. But whilst these suggestions are all pretty good, the dilemma we face is that we need music which will appeal to a broad spectrum of customers. "Yes but they play rock in the NHL!" is something we hear a lot of when it comes to musical suggestions, but the NHL has one big advantage over us - the NHL isn't trying to establish itself with the British Family Audience. We can't afford to risk putting off potential returnees with an alienating musical style, which means that we have to play it safe with what we put into the CD tray. We did try a couple of games playing the kind of music that the players wanted us to play, but the atmosphere in the Arena just wasn't right. So whilst I'm not suggesting that we have a return to the heady days of 'Bob The Builder', we do need to bear in mind how Little Johnny The First Time Hockey Fan And His Mum will react if they're faced with an evening of Slipknot.

It's a tough mix to get right! Over the course of the last season, I probably submitted something in the region of 50 or 60 musical tracks to The Guru Samaru for consideration, and of that maybe only 15 or 20 made it through to the Phoenix Play-List. Some were too harsh, some were too soft, and some were just plain crap. (See Minogue, Danni.)

"Why don't you stop playing 'Hey Baby!' 'cos it's rubbish!" Why? Because it's a song that our cheerleaders, the Phoenix Flames, have worked hard on establishing a routine to. Plus it gets the fans on their feet, having a go and making collective eejits of themselves, which is the aim. So we won't be ditching that, unless someone can teach the Flames a pom-pom routine to the tune of "Dead Skin Mask"...

But all the same, please keep sending your suggestions in, no matter what they are. If it turns out that we are wrong, and that the majority of Phoenix fans want to have an Evening With Anthrax as their backing track to a match, then we'll pop down to HMV! All suggestions are gratefully received, no matter how obscure they may be....