Argh! My eyes!

One of the things that has consistently baffled me is why no hockey team in this country, with very, very few exceptions, can design a home and away shirt that doesn't make my eyes bleed.

I have a collection of ....*mumbles* more than enough.... shirts, mainly because I've been around long enough to buy the latest one, sheep-like, at the beginning of each season. There are very few I would actually call decent. And before anyone says "Well, you don't have to buy them, you know" - I know that. But its part of what being a fan is. We know that, the clubs know it and we all turn up and buy the Mike Morin Memorial Pencil Case. Its part of the deal.

As mentioned before, I have no eye for design but I know what I like. I like clean, simple designs. I like my home shirts to be white and my away shirts to be black. I don't believe that a good design will inevitably be wrecked by sticking sponsors ads all over it - personally, I think the two can generally be combined if the colours compliment each other.

My personal favourite is the Storm home shirt of 97-99 - the "Lightning" bolt running from the shoulder. The combination of blue, silver and white really worked, giving something very effective - even the Allsports logo seemed to integrate. Even switching to the black away version didn't ruin the effect too much - I know it was very popular with the fans. Although it was replaced with the deformed mask thing the following year to less scintillating effect.

Last years Phoenix shirt was pretty good, I thought. The home one was less popular but was my preference. The white showed off the logo to its best and although the flames were a perhaps unnecessary touch, they worked in context. Wasn't entirely keen on the switch to the playoff shirts - but then I'm a student of the "if it ain't broke" school. The playoff shirt brought in the budgie claws which just don't work. It takes the eye away from the logo and besides, gets scrunched up in the waist anyway. Whats the point of printing something you aren't going to see?

Looking around at this years crop of EIHL shirts, it strikes me how teams will change things just because they can. I don't mean in a "well, its merchandise to flog to the fans" way, but in a "throw the baby out with the bathwater" stylee.

London had a rip off of Detroit last year, with a mildly interesting logo. Instead of building on it, they've just taken the lazy route and gone for ripping off Detroit wholesale on the "third" jersey. Not only have they got three unoriginal jerseys, they have three different logos - how on earth can you build an easily recognisable image that way?

Cardiff have always gone in for the "cartoony" school and to be honest with a lot of success, but this year the Devils logo is replaced by a dragon. So, they've replaced a good, crisp, easily recognisable logo with a tie-in to the team with some vague representation of Wales. Effectively "Cardiff Devils" is no more, instead "Welsh Dragons". To top it all off, the dragon is in the lower third, so the "scrunched up" effect comes into play and you can't even see it anyway.

Even though I am biased, Sheffield has never had a decent shirt. Though, to be fair, you couldn't pick two worse base colours than teal and orange. This years home shirt isn't too bad but the away "silver" instantly reminded me of the infamous Man Utd grey shirt, the one that got swapped at halftime "because the players couldn't see each other on the pitch." (The designers excuse for the Utd colouring, BTW, was that it went well with jeans, which would be where most people would see it.) The main problem I've had with Steeler shirts is that they've alway gone for the "oversized" design, like bits of cogs across the shoulder or something - it just doesn't look coherent.

Nottingham have less excuse. Black and gold should be ideal colours, works for the Bruins and Penguins in the NHL. However, the Panthers haven't even got the "gold" bit right, instead settling for "custard yellow" The predominantly yellow home shirt last year made John Craighead appear to be skating in a particularly ill fitting pyjama top. Lee Jinman raced down the ice looking like he had dashed through a pair of curtains on the way. And as for the leaping panther logo - I've racked my brains and I still can't think of another team logo that is an elongated vertical oval. There is a reason for this.

Coventrys logo is just plain horrible.

Belfasts is quite nice though. Although it follows the trail of teal first blazed by the San Jose Sharks which despite all the Sharks best efforts, still looks bloody good.

What amazes me is that these designs are not the work of one - presumably thick-glassed and colour blind - nutter. They've got to go through an approval process, presumably involving the clubs GM and coach. Certainly the league have to have a look to check that there is no colour clash with other teams. So several pairs of eyes give these things the onceover, and yet they still get approved.

I suppose the most telling thing is that in the vast majority of cases, when clubs are selling t-shirts and other stuff to be worn away from the rink, they come up with designs that bear no relation to their game shirts whatsoever. And how many times can you say that about a football club shirt?