Looking back

And so, the Big Day arrived. Well, the buildup to the Big Day involved me and Caroline meeting Richard at the Little Chef just off the M6 to pick up a DVD chock full of video clips. At 9.30 on a Saturday night. That didn't look dodgy at all. Thankfully, the DVD worked perfectly, so despite the best part of six months planning, I'm still up past midnight before the show putting the finishing details to the script...

We got to the Green Room about 2.30pm and met up with Geoff. The techie, Jay, was given a quick run through of the DVD and CDs for audio cues and to be honest it was a great moment to see the Shallow End logo projected onto the big screen - a real "well, here we go" kind of moment. Lots of hard work, and it looked fantastic.

Five o'clock and - I'll be honest - possibly the worst rehearsal in history. I was bouncing off the walls with nerves, struggling to concentrate, the script was simply a bunch of unconnected words that would fly out of my head rather than stick in my brain. Things went so badly, I almost tripped over saying my own name. Geoff was positive, but I was a mess and angry at myself with it.

Ackey and Carl arrived at about 7pm as our designated ushers/crowd control fore the evening. Carl had brought a book to read. In the list of "encouraging and supportive things to bring", that was probably near the bottom of the list. Thankfully the nerves subsided somewhat, replaced by ample quantities of adrenaline. I did a handstand. Badly. Seemed like the thing to do.

One of the biggest worries was the financial risk - the Green Room isn't a cheap facility, but the one most suitable for us. We needed a good crowd to even stand a hope of breaking even. 8pm and word gets back that "there a fair few people out there". "Do we know them?" "No."

Hmm... positive.

Geoff and I head backstage... its time.

I go to the loo several times, Geoff even more. I'm dancing to the backing music, then a brief clip from Firefly introduces the opening video and we're off... Geoff banters and comperes then we start the actual script. My first bit gets a lovely big laugh and then Geoff forgets we're he's going.

"Whats the next bit?"
"Its Doctor Who, mate."
"Thats a good sign. Five minutes in and we've lost the script."
"Hey! Whats this 'we' business?"

Adlibbed, a big laugh, applause. Geoff is the first to forget something, which puts me at incredible ease. But more importantly, we've made a mistake and we've covered it. Looking at the DVD, you can almost see us relax. We do the "Ticketbastard" sketch which went really well, and I manage not to cock up the closing few lines. Again, the DVD reveals immense concentration that the audience can't really see (its all in the eyes) and you can practically see me loosen as it all goes OK.

Off into the darker places and the jokes and ideas begin to flow. Incredibly after what feels like five minutes, but is in reality half an hour, its time for Geoffs song. I nip backstage, convinced we've missed something out. I look at the script for a moment, but realise I know exactly where I'm going.

"Lads mags" - with an opening paragraph that never stuck in my head (again the body language is very revealing) but I got through it OK. And more laughs, more gags, more jokes. Cosmetics. Deleted Scenes (heavily rewritten and repaced from the preview, with a couple of proven gags inserted). We're building up to the Quiz.

The idea was we'd give money for best wild guesses at trivia (how much does this aircraft carrier weigh, what is Jade Goody worth, that sort of thing.) The kicker was for a crisp £50 note, we would get them to dance - best dancer according to an audience vote wins. We played "The Birdie Song" and one of the audience members we pulled out was a nightclub dancer, so she started gyrating against the mic stand much to the delight of, well, everyone.

It was a stormer. Or at least it felt like one. I was so wrapped up in what I was doing, there was a stage, a screen, Geoff, a mic, and the audience were out in the inky darkness, laughing when they needed to laugh, watching when they needed to watch.

There are bits that need improving. The oddest thing was walking off after a stonkingly great gig and thinking "we can do better, if we fix this, and sort that bit and then..." The whole thing worked, and hung together superbly. I don't think I've walked off a stage as "artistically" happy as that for a long time. Saying things I wanted to say, in a way I wanted to say them. Stretching myself a bit, playing with ideas. The curtains pulled back to reveal a whole new territory out there, waiting to be explored.

Best news of the night (apart from it being a stormer) was that we broke even at the box office, the Green Room is the smallest venue with the equipment to do what we wanted, and at 164 capacity, plus support staff it wasn't cheap. So to come out ahead, on a Sunday night, for two virtual unknown comics in a non-comedy environment against 9 other shows on the same day - thats as good as we could hope for.

The bar was a blur. I remember talking to everybody, and feeling guilty for not giving them the time they deserved for coming to support. Neil Morris made it, which was fantastic. Rev and Tracey (Caroline spotted more than a few gasps of shock and then giggling from the latter, Rev himself knew the DVD inside out but large parts of it out of context), good to see friends there to show much needed and appreciated support.

I'll update the Shallow End gallery in a bit, but the main feeling is that it may well pop up again somewhere else, soon... ;-)