There comes a time in every man's life....

Tomorrow's home game against the Panthers will be a landmark one for me, as it will be the first home game of this season that I've missed. The Aardvarx annual awards bash is scheduled for tomorrow, but with the changing of some Phoenix fixtures I suddenly found myself needed in two places at once.

I considered trying to cram both events into my day, but the timings just wouldn't go, so I had to make a choice. In the end it's a simple choice - I'm the GM of the Aardvarx, and the Match Night Entertainment Director of the Phoenix. I work with a skilled team at Phoenix and with one other person at Aardvarx. No brainer.

After this evening's game, Mrs Rev and myself were in my car along with the camera kits, and Fenton, Millhouse and Jack Sparrow were following behind in the Fentonmobile (top speed 60mph downhill with a back wind). As is fast becoming the case, we lost them somewhere on the way into Stoke. Anyway, to the point: on the way back we'd called ahead to Steve The Cameraman, and then met up with him in the Uni car park to transfer the kit from our car to his. Tomorrow at the game, Steve will be taking charge of the camera positions and looking after the crew. Fishcake has the laptop for the music, and Landers has been e-mailed the scripts. For the first time all season, the match night will run ahead full steam without me.

It's odd for me because I don't know what I'm feeling. It's an odd situation. I see myself as an integral part of the match night, but at the same time I know that Landers and Fishcake are comfortable and confident in their roles to the point that they don't really need me anyway. The new camera crews are coming along stormingly, making real progress very quickly, and it's not long before they'll be at full tilt too.

I guess I feel like a father watching his kid riding a bike without him holding on to the seat. You know deep down that the kid has been ready to pedal on their own for a while, but you wanted the safety net of being a little in control. Even though the safety net was for you, and not really for the kid.

Do I trust Landers, Fishcake, Jon, Steve, Millhouse, Fenton, Jack Sparrow and Les to get the job done well without me? Absolutely I do. Do I trust myself not to worry about it all the same? Of course not.

I'm a control freak, no doubt. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Especially since tomorrow, when I'm not fretting at the Phoenix game, I'll be fretting at the Aardvarx bash instead.

Then on Wednesday it's back to business as usual.

Match Night Crew, enjoy the holiday away from me. You've earned it.