But why is the rum gone?

(Hey, we get a team back, I'll write about hockey. Savvy?)

The massive growth of the Net, plus the switch to digital media has made copying of CDs and DVDs widespread. I've just got into a debate on the Phoenix Forum about this and thought I'd better put my ideas down here, rather than cluttering up that place.

My basic premise is that I don't like piracy for its own sake. I know it goes on, I don't particularly care to try and stop it. But what I really can't stand is the excuses used to justify it.

For example - take Revenge of the Sith. I know I can download a good quality version of it, I've got a nice big broadband pipe, DVD writer, burning software, the works. Fire up the correct software, wait a few hours, burn to DVD. Many people do just that. The reason - "Going to the cinema is too expensive."

Oh come on. A cinema ticket is six quid. That PC and broadband equipment costs money. The blank DVD costs money. Most importantly time costs money.

"Yeah, but a trip to the cinema costs parking and popcorn and drinks."

Really? The last time I went to the cinema, I wasn't forced to buy any of those things. Parking was free. Its like claiming you can't go to a hockey game, because you can't afford the replica shirt.

"I don't have time to go to the cinema".

But you do have time to set a PC going for a four hour download plus a one hour burn, plus sitting down and watching it? Can you really not wait two or three days and watch it on a Monday night?

"The cinemas/George Lucas/Bill Gates has enough money - what do they care?"

True, Bill Gates and George Lucas are indeed richer than gravity.* But they don't do the work. It takes more than George Lucas and a bunch of actors to make a film - it takes sound engineers, and lighting riggers and caterers. Last time I checked, the bloke who loads the film into the camera wasn't a multi-millionaire. A good mate of mine has a large part of his income supplanted by the occasional royalty cheque for appearing in "Phoenix Nights". Films and TV are made by ordinary people, doing ordinary jobs.

The bitterest irony of all is that, almost without exception, the people who cry "poverty" when I have a go at them for pirating movies have nice PC's and state of the art broadband to do all this. Plus big TV's hooked up to powerful stereo systems to watch it. I used to work at a place where the MD would regularly rent a DVD and ask the IT Dept to copy it for him. He worked on the top floor, we on the ground floor and earned a lot of money. So much so, in fact, that I once calculated that in terms of money earned per minute, it was cheaper for him to sit at his desk and buy the DVD from Play.com than it was to walk all the way down to us with the DVD, talk for a minute or two and walk all the way back.

To make an excuse like "poverty" for piracy is, to be perfectly blunt, bullshit.

I'm not sitting on some self-built hill of moral justification. In the school playground, mid-80s, I was probably the biggest Amiga pirate of them all so much so that my school uniform had an additional eyepatch and parrot on the shoulder. I download stuff all the time, music, TV shows, that kind of thing. I'll even tell you the last five things I downloaded:

Dr Who: Dalek. Top Gear from November 2003 (featuring Lamborghini). Absolutely Series 2. Consolevania: Resident Evil Special (homemade games review show). The Mary Whitehouse Experience Series 1.

So what is the crucial difference between me downloading that lot, and someone downloading Revenge of the Sith?

Simple. All of the those five things are not available to buy in any format. I have probably broken the same copyright laws as your Sith downloader and I know I sound hypocritical for having a pop at them. My point of principle still stands - show me where I can buy the above, and I'll go out and buy it. I'm an adult with a job. A DVD is not going to stretch my bank balance. And if it was, well, I have the self-discipline to wait until pay day. No film, TV show or album is that desperate that I can't wait a few days.

So how does this tie in with the act of piracy I committed recently? I made and sent out around 40 copies of the ISL Trophy/B&H Cup Final for Storm fans. I was offered money and I could have charged 5 or 10 quid a pop. Plenty of people willing to pay. Advertise it around - could have made 500 quid, easy.

But why should I profit from someone elses work? The thing is, I couldn't pay the right people even if I wanted to. There is no official DVD/video of the game. The Storm, the London Knights, or most likely the ISL are the actual rights holders and none of them exist any more. Sky? Probably don't even care. Even with all that, taking the money for someone elses work felt wrong. Again I'll be honest, the exercise cost me about 50 quid in discs, envelopes and postage. That will be covered by a few pints bought for me in the new rink. As far as I'm concerned, we're square.

That is my rule - if you can buy it, I'm not supplying it. If it is legally available for purchase somewhere, get out your credit card. It is easy to track down something via EBay. DVDs/Games from Play.com or Region 1 from Playusa.com.

If I can't find it by fair means, then, and only then, do I hit the torrent sites.

And what happens if something does come out after I've downloaded it? Simple - I buy it. Mainly because when it comes to the crunch, a downloaded copy of a video transfer taped 12 years ago can't possibly hope to match the quality of a new DVD, with chapters and commentary. I've got the new Dr Who series thus far on DVD, will have the lot after broadcast (I downloaded "Dalek" because I'd forgotten to set the video - the rest taped direct) but I'm still buying the super box set when it comes out at Christmas.


I'm not asking people to stop pirating. I'm asking people to be honest. "Why am I doing this? Because I can, and I can't be arsed to do it properly". Fine. I can live with that. "I can't afford it" is a bullshit reason. I can't afford an AMG SL55, that doesn't mean I can steal the one sitting outside my window right now.

Re-reading all this, I sound like a hypocrite. "Ethical piracy! Who does he think he is?" Fair enough. But this is my point of view - show me who I've stolen from, and I won't do it. Show me where I can buy that series of "Absolutely" (yes, I do have the official video, thanks) and I'll stop doing the occasional copy for my mates. Instead I'll buy a nice new copy of it and point my mates to it. Simple.

But if you are wanting to pirate Revenge of the Sith, why don't you try going here first

*I can scientifically prove this